“I think I better go wake him,” states Simba’s strongest
owner. “Regardless of what happens, he won’t be going to school tomorrow. Do
you think you can keep him still?”
“Oh, I think so,” is the hushed reply from the motherly
owner. Slowly she removes the ice-pack from the canine spine and moves to
position herself just behind the dog on the basement stair landing. She reaches
across on bent knees, continuing to stroke Simba’s muzzle. The paternal pup
owner stands and takes a deep breath; preparing himself for the task he is
about to undertake.
It is shortly after midnight. Simba’s youngest owner must
be awakened. Almost two years ago the spirited border collie survived a serious
accident with the school bus. Tonight with no warning he is discovered dying;
it’s uncertain how much time there will be to say good-bye.
It is a shocking, gut-wrenching way to bring Thanksgiving
weekend to a close – but beyond the darkness of it all, somehow appropriate.
Since the bus accident, there has been a mutual revival of appreciation. Long walks around the fields, chases through
the farm buildings, truck rides to town, and tennis balls too numerous to
recollect.
At first, the extra time spent was a prescribed means to
rehabilitate a pet. Agile bodies, healthier attitudes and stronger emotional
bonds were the unexpected consequences for all. Tonight, a period of
extraordinary growth and gratitude is closing.
Evidence of this growth now appears, befuddled, in the
doorway; Simba’s youngest companion stands taller than any other household
member. Simba tries to greet him on the slippery wooden landing, but his tail
is perfectly still. His hind legs have stopped working and they slide awkwardly
back even as he struggles to move up toward his boy. The big brown eyes reveal
no regret for the attempt; instead they seem to apologize for the poor
greeting.
“Hush now. Lay down, good dog, good dog, good dog…”
The wirey youth bends down. Peach fuzz nuzzles the nose
of the much furrier friend.
The bonds now forged did not come easy. Simba came from
abuse and neglect. As a puppy, he had been crated alone in a dark basement for
extremely long periods of time.
When first arriving on the farm, he took one
look across the vast expanse of the greening crops and refused to leave the
house.
The little boy in the house understood; he was new to
farm life, too. With gentle nudges from their elders, dog and boy learned the
rules of exploration. They made each
other brave. It took less than a year
and the fields became their playground.
“Let’s try and move him upstairs; he can look out the
sliding glass doors,” whispers the motherly companion. “There’s an old quilt in
the bin, with the winter clothes.”
It’s the second time the family has “gurneyed” Simba in
this manner; they wonder aloud if they should call the vet out to the farm. It
is hard to explain why no one does so. There is simply a pervasive sense that it
is too late.
Simba and his layers of quilting are placed in front of the
door. He is a bit anxious and tries to stand again.
“It’s OK. Good dog, good dog, good dog…”
An exercise mat it placed next to him. The young man lays
beside him and together they look out across the yard into the fields. Blankets
are gently placed over both of them. A lean muscular arm reaches out and lays
lightly on the dog’s strong neck. Simba’s slightly labored breathing is calmed.
“There are some old towels down in the cabinet with the
cleaning supplies,” says the motherly companion. Both farm elders have seen endings
before. Certain bodily functions are
shutting down – the dog will lose control. The towels will keep the quilt dry
and comfortable.
“I’ll go get them.” The paternal companion returns at the
right moment. There is an unpleasant smell but no one comments. Gently, so they
do not to disturb the dying nor the young comfort near him, the elders catch
this release of the body. All that remains is his increasingly shallow breath.
Glassy black and tan orbs fix themselves upon some
mystery far past the doors, over the field and into the river valley. The river
creatures – muskrats, beaver and the occasional otter – intrigued Simba
throughout his days on the farm. But the Border collie did not stray; his job
was to keep all resident and visiting children away from the bank. He was never
told, never trained; it was just in his nature.
Mother and father position themselves behind the youngest
companion as if to physically brace him for the moment that is about to come.
Simba shudders and gasps, as though about to leap across the banks to the other
side.
“It’s OK… go ahead,” chokes a young voice. “It’s OK, It’s
OK…”
The gasping continues and is hard to take…for
everyone. Then, silence. Finally, a
pained whisper breaks the quiet.
“He was my best friend.”
There is an eruption of emotion for all. The three humans
lean into each other and allow themselves to be lost for a while. It is the
elder man who first re-approaches.
First, the eyes are shut as best as they can be. Flaccid
limbs are gently bent and tucked under the black and white form. Gingerly, as though still fearful of causing
any pain, the head and tail are brought together.
“He looks like he is sleeping.”
With her arm still around her son’s shoulder, she meets
her husband’s knowing gaze. Rigor mortis, the stiffening of the muscles
following death, will soon set in. The loving positioning of the body has a
practical side; it means a smaller grave to be dug out of the freezing ground.
The mother leaves the two men, one elder one freshly
made, and retrieves sleeping bags. They will sleep together tonight, adjacent
to the entryway where Simba’s body rests. But there isn’t much sleep at first. Instead,
without prompting, they find themselves reliving a dog’s life.
“Remember when he jumped up – all four paws – in the
middle of the dining room table?!? He almost got the pot roast!”
One by one, they drift off; the mother is the last to
sleep. She watches the sun until its rays stretch across the river valley and
reach Simba’s face. Then, she slumbers.
That afternoon, a spot is chosen; a small patch of woods
on the hillside where Simba chased squirrels. Wrapped in the quilt, Simba is lowered to his
final resting place by the two men. Three shovels work together. It feels – and
is – so final.
At first the loss is revisited each time the emptiness
greets a returning member of the farm family. Gradually, over many months – and
many quiet visits to the graveside – the searching stops. The memory of a black
and white furball racing forward with rowdy welcome, will continue for a
lifetime.
Torque
Writer (TM) This work is protected by US Copyright law, and may not be reproduced
(wholly or partially) without the written consent and signature of the author,
Rebecca L. Olson.